Life even in Death.

Last night I had this very, very vivid dream I wanted to share.


It was Thanksgiving day and the whole family was at grandma and grandpa's house as usual. All but granny, she had passed away in the dream just like reality.

I was holding Jonah when I looked up and saw this picture of Christ on the cross on her wall. I started looking around the room at each and every person there. I saw my grandma around all of them. Each person, for a spilt second, she was next to, hugging, reaching out to them.

I then looked down at my son, Jonah whom I was holding and I felt this presence of granny behind me. Holding me. Looking down at Jonah and I. I looked up and saw her face for just a second before it disappeared. I had an overwhelming feeling of grief. sadness.

I handed Jonah to my mother and walked back into grandma's bedroom. This had been where I grieved alone while spending the hours after her death at their house in reality. I walked to her bed and her rosary bead were placed on her side of the bed. The same beads that I carried with me when I was growing up. That she and I loved so much. And that I had personally placed in her coffin before they put her in the ground. I picked them up and sat down.

While staring at the beads and sobbing, missing her so much I felt a warm brush on my shoulder. It startled me and I looked up into my grandmother's eyes. Except it looked like she did in the black and white pictures I loved so much. The ones where she was 20 years old and beautiful as can be.

She looked at me with her head slightly tilted and said, "dear. Why are you crying? I'm so happy."
"granny. we miss you so much. i cant-", she stopped me.
"Ashley, I'm in heaven. I have life again in Christ. I have my friends with me. I play bingo and run. I'm free, I worship God, and it's beautiful there. Don't cry for me. We will be together again."

She was gone.

Find this silly. I know it was a message from her. From God. I never believed in any of this stuff until this day.

I love you granny.
Thank you.

...Love...

Don't take life for granted.

To live is Christ. To die is gain.

This has by far been the hardest year of my life and the worst thing happened Thursday morning.

My grandmother, Shirley, passed away from a very sudden, unexpected heartattack.

Let me start by telling you just how hard this is on my family and I.

Most grandparents you see at holidays. My grandparents are much, much more than that.

My grandmother (we called her granny), was the sweetest soul I've ever known. She reached out and tried to help whoever she knew, didn't know, it didn't matter to her. She loved people. She gave everything she had to make anyone happy and didn't expect anything in return.

She would call and talk about your life. Never a complaint about hers. She would just listen when you needed to talk and give you the best, moral advice she had. I've never met a person on this earth with such high moral standards.

She made friends with people at the grocery store. Complete strangers. She had love just pouring out of her. You could see in it her. You could see the love of Christ in her and flowing out of her to touch others.

She would always make sure everyone had their food before she would even sit down to eat.

I told her I wanted a crock pot so I could make pot roast. Two days later there was a crock pot and everything to make a roast at my house ready for me when I got home from work.

She never left my sister's side when she was in the hospital with cancer. never.

I told her I loved purple when I was seven. once. Up until the day she died, she remembered that and everything she bought me was purple if she could help it.

She stayed up all night before holidays wrapping, cooking and making sure everything was perfect so that we could have a beautiful, wonderful time. and we always did.

She was such a dancer. She sang karoke at our family reunion last year to baby got back while actually dancing some pretty hip moves.

She took in all the in laws as her own children, grandchildren, and even her friends were family to her.

If there is any indication of how powerful her love was and what a deep impact she had in people's life, this is it.Adam lived with both sets of his grandparents for some time. One of them even babysat him most of his childhood. And in the 6 years he's known my granny he says she was more of a grandmother to him than his own.


This is what my grandma was.
love.
loyalty.
beauty.
selfless.
genuine.
caring.
woman of God.

I could go on forever. She wouldn't want me to. She would want me to remember her but try, try hard to move on. And this is what I'm going to try and do for you granny.

Jonah won't go a day in his life without hearing about you or feeling your love in my heart.



I will never forget you granny. 11/13/1935-11/12/2009
You lived a beautiful life.

my first senior pictures!